Everyone needs other people to help them in achieving their dreams. We all need each other. In the business and corporate world, we need each other’s market and ideas to succeed. In our personal lives we need each other’s inspiration and support to succeed in achieving or dreams.
We become successful when we understand how valuable other people are in our lives. Every successful person knows and understands the power of relationships. No man can succeed on his own, as John Donne wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself..”
“Our attitude about the interconnection of each of us to all of us and all of us to each of us has a great influence on our future”- Jim Rohn. Nobody is a lone wolf, you cannot succeed alone in this world, but a lot of us are slamming the relationship doors that lead to opportunities and success on our faces by the way we relate to others.
HOW HAVE I BEEN CLOSING DOORS WITH PEOPLE?
1- Feeling and acting superior to people: some of us feel maybe because of our status or some privileges we enjoy, are better and superior to other people. Folks we get nowhere in life with this kind of attitude, because people sense your attitude of superiority. Even when you try to hide or pretend people still sense and know it. Always looking down on people would slam the relationship doors on your face.
2- Acting with blind prejudice: a lot of us prejudge people and cut them of us without giving them a chance. You just look at a person and write them off without ever getting to know them. Operating with blind prejudice closes doors with people. Remember the cliché “never judge a book by its cover”.
3- Guilt by association: some of us do not like people because they simply remind us of somebody else. You ask a person why don’t you like this Guy and he or she say things like; “I don’t like him because he just reminds me of my father in-law”, or because he reminds me of my Ex and so on.
4- Irritability points: Here we just look at somebody and we identify all the little things about them that irritate us and focus on them. For example you just hear things like; “I don’t like the way he wears his tie”, “I don’t like the way she paints her nails”, “I don’t like the way he cuts his hair” and so on. We choose to have irritability points little wonder some of us have such a small circle of friends.
5- Relational Laziness: Most of us would not do those little things that build friendships; we do not return calls, or text back, we won’t send emails o people who email and so on.
6- Mood Swings: A lot of us create fogs around us by our moods. You only look great with people when you are in a good mood, but you are scary when you have a bad mood. This closes doors
HOW DO I OPEN DOORS WITH PEOPLE?
1- Be genuinely interested in other people: Dale Carnegie in his book “How to win friends and influence people” wrote, “you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people to be interested in you”. Let us train ourselves to become truly interested in other people’s life. No matter how fascinating we may be, it still does not mean there are no other fascinating people out there.
2- Names: According to Dale Carnegie, a person’s name is the most important word to the individual in any language. Focus on remembering that person’s name as soon as you meet them, and use the name during conversation with them so that you do not forget it.
3- Be approachable: Do not make it hard for people to contact you. Most of us when we get a new job, or business breakthroughs, we just cannot be approached any longer. Always be approachable and available to people.
4- Be very forgiving with people and they will love you. Understand that no one is perfect and in relationships people make mistakes, they hurt us. Learn to forgive others.
5- Be easy to work with: you open doors with people by being very easy to work with. Be easy with people. Christ with all his glory and power allowed children and ordinary folks around him. Do you allow people around you or you go about with such air of imperialism?
6- Be a good listener: Encourage other people to talk about themselves. It shouldn’t always be about us. Listen to people and when you speak, find a way to link your talk to other people’s interests.“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to a ruin, but there is a friend that who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 “Wisdom is the power to learn something from everyone”. – Ancient proverb.