Who are your friends and how do they affect you? The relationships you have can either enhance your life or they can drain you. There are talented people who have lots of potentials in them, but because they didn’t surround themselves with other people that will inspire them to transcend themselves, they will never realize their greatness and might end up going to their graves with all their gifts still in them.
Folks you have to be selective about the people you have around as friends, because the law of average states that the result of any given situation will be the average of all the outcomes. Famous motivational speaker and Author Jim Rohn further explain this law by saying that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.
We are greatly influenced whether we like it or not by those closest to us. They affect our ways of thinking, our self esteem, and the decisions we make in life. So who are the five people in your life that you spend the most time with – your buddies? Get serious write their names down and begin to ask these critical questions about your friends, lovers, partners; who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious and successful have they been? How enthusiastic are they? How happy are they?
Really take a look at your relationships, the people you are involved with, the people you communicate with most of the time and ask yourself, what am I becoming because of this relationship? Does it inspire me? Am I motivated? Am I encouraged and driven to develop myself? Am I seeking my own greatness? What kind of person am I becoming because of these relationships? Am I becoming more cynical and negative about life? If you want to become the person God created you to be, if you want to achieve the life of your dreams, you must stay away from toxic people because as Dr. Wayne Dyer says; “when you allow toxic people into your immediate energy field, you will find that your feelings of well-being diminish. Just as if you allow someone with a cold to sneeze in your face, you increase your chances of getting sick, you must be careful about whom you elect to associate with to avoid contaminating your life energy.”
Make the choice today about who you want to continue spending your time with. Even if no one among your present set of friends meet the standards and goals you set for yourself, let them GO! Don’t let a few folks keep you down. “Don’t become the average of some average people.” “You need to say goodbye albeit with unconditional love, to anyone who pollutes your life space with slowed down energy”.


    1. Thank you Douglas. You see unlike our friends whom we had to choose, we didn’t choose our family. We never determined who became our parents, or siblings, or other relatives. God carefully selected each family member according to your specific need, and the lessons you are suppose to learn in order to develop into person he made you to be. So if you have family members who have become toxic, and are always trying to pull you down, and don’t believe in you, I wouldn’t recommend you cut them out of your life, but that you cut them out of your vision. You relate with them on a different level, you don’t discuss your dreams, your aspirations, your goals with them, so you don’t get poisoned by their toxins. As a Christian take a look at Jesus’ model. Jesus was encountered rejection, a lack of faith in His mission and Person from His Kinsmen. The people of Nazareth considered Jesus as an ordinary Person whom they knew. The bible states that Jesus didn’t do many miracles there because of their lack of faith (Mark 6:1-6, Matthew 13:54-58, Luke 4:16-30). Their disbelief didn’t stop Him from shinning, but rather it spurred him on to fulfilling His destiny. Like Les Brown says, the best way to deal with doubting family members is to go on and have “massive success”.


  1. WOW!I agree with Douglas, you have been blessed by God with great wisdom. I just had a conversation with a Friend at church yesterday about a family member. I am going to forward this blog post to her. I KNOW it will help her because it has helped me. Thank you!


  2. Vincent, this is such good, practical truth. I have learned how true this is in my short time on this earth. I am more careful than ever to avoid friendship with toxic people. I believe we are called to love everyone, to show grace where we can, but I also believe that we have an inner-circle that we must guard with all our might. You have share a wonderful piece today. Thank you!


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