Not Just For The Woman. Men Have Roles Too

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During a conversation I had with a friend recently, I was asked, should it just be about women? Women be this, be that, do this or that in a relationship or marriage. What about the men don’t they have roles too? This really got me thinking, because truly as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Men too have roles to play in sustaining their relationships or marriages. We can’t just leave all the changing and doing to women alone!

Every man desires a good wife, but we forget that, as a proverb states, “Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands.” So you see, your lover, wife is as good as you make them to be. The woman is simply the reflection of her man.  Ladies are always told to be subject to the man, to try and please, show love, affection, be caring, be able to take care of their homes and much more. We forget that no matter how skilful a lady is in the area of home making and “man keeping” if the man doesn’t notice, appreciate, contribute, and compliment her, her efforts will be in vain.

Related: 11 Relationships and Marriage Killers

Several women today are in want of a man who will reciprocate their love, appreciate their good and their self-sacrifice. Many times especially here in Africa, it is the woman takes care of the home and the entire family, combining that with her businesses and careers, and making sure her keep herself in shape to please the man, and as a reward the man doesn’t even notice these efforts.

I have come to discover that sometimes, when relationships and marriages fail, it isn’t because the woman isn’t doing enough, but some men are just so difficult to please. Nothing, no amount of work or sacrifice a lady does is ever enough. They go about finding faults in all things. There are selfish husbands who go about amusing themselves with friends, without giving their women any chance. But does it ever occur to such “Egyptian taskmasters” that all work and no play is quite as bad for women as for men?

The fault of some of us men is not the absence of love, but our failure to express it in our daily lives, and the self- absorption and our concentration in our businesses and careers, which prevents us from knowing that women want something more than we give them. We pay little attention to the fact that, most times, it isn’t the nice houses, the jewellery, the luxury clothes, expensive cars, and the money we lavish on them that the women value most, but most times a woman’s happiness depends on the little things; the time spent with them; the kind words; noticing and genuinely complimenting their looks and efforts etc.

Related: How to Have a Lasting Relationship

They say “Behind every successful man, is a woman” and many successful men have proven this statement to be true, as they often give credit to their Wives or partners as being responsible for their achievement through offering sound advice, and being there for them in their moments of despair. It then baffles me as to why most other Guys don’t regard their wives or partners opinions. You find that a man will take advice from a total stranger, who doesn’t even care about him, but will disregard the cordial, loving, and sensible opinion of his own wife. We forget that women are blessed with great intuition, right judgement, foresights, that makes their advice valuable.

The Scripture says we as men are the head over the woman. But many of us are using this headship as a cover for control, dominance, or even abuse of the women.  We demand submission from  our wives and partners but in turn we won’t submit ourselves to no one. Men have duties too! As a man, your wife is your precious one, your only one…she is to be cherished, not because of what she does for you, but because of her essence. Remember she too was made in the image and likeness of God! You are called to be a husband, father, lover, friend, adviser, and guide. Not a boss! Live your greatest life!

Related: 13 Ways to Prove Love

2 thoughts on “Not Just For The Woman. Men Have Roles Too”

  1. Every relationship is a partnership, a bonding of two. The king looks after his queen but yet the queen will endeavour to protect her king against all odds. Love and mutual appreciation provide growth for a shared partnership. Walking the path of life is easier with the strength of another. The journey becomes meaningful and much more enjoyable 🙂


  2. I’m almost afraid of myself when I come to comment upon this. My wife? My wife of forty years drives her own car, can get to the shops without satnav, and can even do simple sums. I mean, seriously, the word partnership is being sprayed around here, without any real attention to the meaning of the word.
    Marriage is a union of two people who want to be together. It is not a charter of listed duties and responsibilities, or a stipulation of character impossible to achieve. My wife has her faults, so have I, we are Yin and Yang two sides of a coin which may fall either side up at any given time. I am certainly not her ‘master’ or superior to her in any way. In fact, in a lot of ways she is greatly superior in intelligence and maturity. A partnership is a union of equals, and therein lies its strength.


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