Category Archives: Motivation

“LET GO AND LET GOD”

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As I listened to Olivia Newton-John’s song “Let go and let God” on my music player, I just could not help but think of the people out there who are still struggling with the pains of a loss of a loved one, divorce, broken relationship, loss of job or business, etc.

Or maybe yours is not loss, maybe you are struggling to hang on to something that is not working anymore, maybe your relationship is becoming frustrating by the day, your job is no longer fulfilling, your kids are not doing well, or something else.

Life may seem to be cruel sometimes, especially when the waves of life tosses us about, and leaves us with little or nothing to hold on to, in these moments most people just do not know how to handle life anymore. They get stuck in the past whining and complaining about these circumstances, and refusing to move on. The world does not stand still, it is changing. Just because something was not right for you in the past doesn’t mean it is still wrong.

Learn to let go folks. “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ―Ann Landers.
Holding on and hanging onto the pains of loss or setbacks in life is like believing that life is made only of the past.

Letting go means believing and knowing that there is a brighter future ahead. How many times have we allowed temporary defeats and setbacks to affect us as if they were permanent failures, instead of learning from it and moving on? Think about what Paul said in his letter to the Romans when he wrote “And we know all things work together for good to those who love God…”instead of holding on to the pains, dust yourself up and move on knowing that things will work out for your good.

WHY THEN DON’T WE OFTEN LET GO?

The major factor why people find it difficult to let go is FEAR. Fear is holding some of us back, and keeping us forever behind and in pains. Fear brings hate, poor self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, loneliness, laziness, and the likes. Below are some of the fears keeping us from letting go;

#1 Fear of the Unknown; Thoughts of past pains and mistakes makes you miserable, you feel it is known and know what to expect from the past. The future on the other hand is unknown, scary, unpredictable and difficult to plan for. This thought has kept so many people down and prevents them from moving on and experiencing new life.

#2 Fear of Making Mistakes; some people are afraid of letting go because they do not want to make mistakes. They feel they are incapable of getting things right, so remain fixed to a spot. We fail to realize that everyone who has ever risen above their travails in life made lots of mistakes along the way. Mistakes should be welcomed because it is the only way we learn and grow. How can you ever know success if you don’t know what failure is?

#3 Fear of Losing Relationships or Other Things You Value; many individuals fear that if they embrace the future and let go of their past and pains, they will lose their relationships, family members and other things they treasure. Truth is letting go allows your true friends and gifts to manifest. Of course you will lose some friends, but that is part of the process, and you have to realize that anyone or anything you lose isn’t meant to be in your life as you seek to move on. This opens doors for better and higher relationships in your life. The circumstance and decision to move on will reveal who your true friends are.

HOW DO I LET GO?

#1 Forgiveness; “forgiveness isn’t something you do for someone else; it is something you do for yourself. When we choose not to forgive we carry the burden of whatever wrong was done against/towards us.” An important factor in the process of letting go is to forgive every event or person that has hurt us, because when we do not we pull ourselves down, and help spread the poison around our lives.

#2 Leave your Comfort Zone; letting go of events, words, people, habits that don’t serve us is a difficult thing for most people to do. In-order to grow one must leave the familiar behind and face the unfamiliar. You must make a conscious deliberate effort of making the uncomfortable, become comfortable for you, and this is done by facing the fear of the unknown. Realize that fear is something made up by your mind to keep you bound, and in fact most of the things we fear do not even exist in reality.

#3 Take Full Control of Your Life; no one else is responsible for yourself but you. Some of us have bought into the lie that other people example our parents, friends, teachers, pastors, lovers, partners, children and every other person but us is responsible for the way our life has been up till this moment. This is a great lie! Accept responsibility of your life, change the way you think and see yourself. If you ever want to let go and move on, you have to do it yourself. Stop playing the victim.

#4 Focus on Today; today is the greatest gift you have that is why it is called the PRESENT. The past has moved on and already forgotten you, so why are you still living it? Decide right now that the past events will not hold you back anymore, pick out the lessons from it and focus on what to do next. Take positive steps toward having your life back. Begin today and take that first step towards letting go, and your future would unravel as you go.

#5 Let God Deal with it; just as Olivia Newton-John’s song said, “Let go and let God”; “when you cannot find your direction and your heart won’t guide you home “Let Go Let God”. When your dreams are broken in the dust and you’ve lost the will to trust “Let Go Let God”…When faiths is a dying fire and there is no spark to feed the flame “Let Go and Let God”. When your courage fails you and the well of hope runs dry “Let Go and Let God”…… Folks you have to let God deal with it. We may not know how to handle the pains and brokenness, but He sure does, and is willing. Christ said; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke…..for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Matthew 11:28-30
Share your thoughts on how you are dealing with your past or how you were able to Let Go by leaving a comment below.

WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM ACTING ON YOUR DREAMS?

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We all have dreams. For some of us our dreams maybe to have a good house, to drive a nice car, get married, have loving partner, go on vacation, change careers, start a business….the list is endless.
What is that thing that you want to do, that you know you need to do but for one reason or the other you are holding back? You haven’t been able to gather your nerves to do it, but you know you ought to do it, and in fact you really want to do it but you don’t know why you haven’t done anything about it.
Deciding to act is a major challenge to most of us, and I do know acting on your dreams is never easy but in other to re-invent your life, you have to make a conscious and deliberate effort, and this is a very challenging thing to do. But you see everyone who has ever made it to the top in life didn’t just land there, they worked their way up there. They overcame their fears, they challenged themselves to do that which they feared. Some of us won’t make a decision about our lives until there’s a crisis situation. For example you want to lose weight, but you won’t act to eat healthy foods and exercise your body until you are plagued by an ailment like diabetes, then you can’t because life has now acted on you.
Some of things holding us back from acting on our dreams include:

#1 Fear of the unknown; some people live their whole lives afraid of the unknown. Progress in life is impossible if you always do things the way you have always done them. So long as you are willing to stay where you are on familiar grounds and not take risks to try out new things you can’t grow nor achieve your dreams.
#2 Fear of failure; so many of us are scared of failing at anything in life. We forget that all the greatest inventions were made after several attempts because the inventors won’t give up. Failure gives you a mastery over that which you are trying to achieve.
#3 Fear of loss; sometimes most of us fear that if we do what needs to be done, we might lose somebody, our relationship, our job, etc. We sacrifice our lives and dreams on the altar of trying to be considerate and nice. Folks there are some necessary loses in life, accept your losses and live your dreams.
#4 Approval; so many of us are afraid to act our dreams because of other peoples’ approval and opinions. We find it difficult to make major decisions because we care a lot about what other people think; our parents, teachers, co-workers…we want to please everybody, but it is impossible in life.
#5 Lack of self-confidence: A lot of people do not believe in themselves and in their capabilities. We just go about thinking we can’t make it work, or we don’t deserve anything good. A lot of us are in abusive and draining relationships but we won’t come out because we don’t believe we deserve a better partner. To some our jobs are making us sick, we find and take any reason to be absent from work yet we are too scared to explore other avenues. We just won’t act.
#6 Accepting Responsibility: Many individuals today, do not want to take personal responsibility over their lives, we want someone else to do it for us. We don’t want to accept life’s challenges; all we want to do is to watch from the sidelines.

HOW TO OVERCOME

The only way you overcome fear is facing it. Know that fear is imaginary as most of the things we are afraid of do not exist, they are only made up by our minds. Most things we envision that are going to be terrible, all the disaster that we think are going to befall us as a result of facing our fears, taking risks, they are all just in our heads. When you get out there and do it, get the new job, get out of that toxic relationship, or relocate to a place you’ve always wanted to be, you discover that somehow things work out for you.
Use your failures and rejection to drive you to success. If you don’t have self confidence in yourself, get up and do anything that will make you feel a little bit better about yourself. Achieving self confidence is from ‘doing’. Like Dr. Wayne Dyer says “I hear I forget, I see I remember, I do and I understand, and not one moment before.” You have to keep doing and doing until you become a person who has confidence.
So right now decide what you want in life, what you want to achieve, and write down why you know you must take action. It is important you are very clear and descriptive in your reasons. Because trust me your reasons will be the driving force, your reasons have power, and when you will be faced with doubts, when your faith drops, your reasons will fortify you. When you will be faced with opposition, and your inner voices begin to tell you, don’t do this or that, you can’t achieve all these, you are not meant for greatness, look at your family nobody’s ever reached here….your reasons will be your comfort in that period.
You have what it takes to overcome obstacles folks. “you are the light of the world…the salt of the earth..” just make that definitive decision to act. The world is waiting for your light. Act Now!

YOU CAN WIN!

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“Success is easier than failure.” “Winning is better than losing”.But everyone has the option to live on whatever layer of life’s pyramid they choose. You have to choose to stay down or climb to the top. At the top the view is better, and the crowd is smaller. But it’s easier to settle for the lower levels, because to some people they just want to get in step with their peers, some just don’t know how to succeed, they want to be accepted. They choose to follow the follower, conforming to one another. Belonging is all that is important to these people.

But this is the trap that gets practically everybody, and most people end their lives in it. They live their lives playing to the crowd, especially the wrong one, trying to be one of the boys. The most important thing to them is to be liked they have no identity of their own. But successful people, true winners they don’t conform, they follow independent paths, they know that paths are made by people walking on them, so they create their own paths. They break away from the crowd, and rather join a smaller crowd. They don’t watch the television all day long, they use their time constructively.

You see It’s easier to win, and it’s never too late for you. If you want to be a winner, all you need is a dream, a worthy goal and a motivation to reach the upper layers of life’s pyramid. Your dream doesn’t have to be glamorous to start, it just has to be a dream because whatever gets into your mind stays there and will always show up in your life, but when you see nothing, dream nothing, you will expect and get nothing. “Surround yourself with what could be and not what is.” Continue reading YOU CAN WIN!

OVERCOMING EMPTINESS

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Is this the case with you? You are doing what you think you want with your life, your life seem to be everything you’ve always wanted it to be – you have a job, wonderful family, great relationship with friends, involved in your faith, but still something is lacking in your life. Somehow you’re still restless, uneasy and incomplete.
In the gospel of Mark we find a story about a rich man, who obviously has got everything in life and yet he was searching for something. Something wasn’t right with his heart, in his soul. He came to Jesus with a question about eternal life and happiness. Then Jesus directs him to the commandments, He said obey them. The rich man answered; I have done all those things according to the scriptures…I have lived an obedient life, I have done all things right but still I feel emptiness inside why?
Do you feel the same way? You have worked pretty hard, you have been a good person, you do your best to do the right things, you try to live a faithful life…”why am I not happy?” how come I always feel like there’s something missing in my life? You ask.
Jesus told him to sell his things, give the money to the poor and follow Him. Jesus told him the solution lies in his relinquishment, in the man’s willingness to let go and detach himself from all his stuff, all his possessions, and that seemed so unrealistic and improbable to him.
If our lives are hinged on maintaining all our possessions, becoming rich, then we have to ask ourselves: To what extent are our lives being controlled by our attachment to our things? To what extent does our need for houses, cars, beautiful women, rich men, the need to maintain our status, to keep up with the” Jones’”, dominate our lives to the point that we have no time, and energy. All the time, it seems we are weary, worn-out, restless, and empty.
We often buy into the illusion that “If I just had this…If I just had that…If this would happen…Or that”, then my life would be great, everything would be fine. We think like that most of the time or don’t you? We are convinced that if “I just got married…or if just had a baby boy, if I had a boy friend or girl friend, then I’d be happy and my life would be content.” We have to be careful so as not to convince ourselves that the real meaning of our lives, our happiness and contentment come from the external and not the internal. We shouldn’t think that things that happen to us, those circumstances, that they will change the inside.
Let’s change our value system.The value system that is characterized by our attachment to things. The rich man was saddened because he was too attached to his possessions and couldn’t accept Jesus’ invitation to relinquishment. It is true that we are supposed to have nice things in life, but they shouldn’t keep us from a life of loving and giving, and strengthening our connection to people and God.
“Happiness is as elusive as a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it flies away. But if we stop chasing it, put away our nets and busy ourselves with other things….the butterfly will come to us.” Connect more to people, lend a compassionate ear, and before you know it, happiness will sneak up on us and overflow our lives.