Below are the characteristics of an abusive or violent person according to Sandra L. Brown M.A (psychotherapist, lecturer and consultant in the field of psychopathology)
1. Talks down on you, criticizes you, calls you names, or otherwise uses belittling language against you.
2. Refers to his or her previous partners in negative, demeaning ways
3. Attempts to control or dominate your life choices, small or large.
4. Tries to dictate your spiritual or religious beliefs
5. He or she is frequently irritable
6. Raises his or her voice, yells or screams, even when carrying on a normal conversation.
7. Yells and screams and seems “too worked up” when he or she gets into an argument with you.
8. Has a history of assaults against other people
9. Becomes violent or out of control when using drugs or alcohol
10. Punches walls or throws things when angry
11. Seems to experience anger as his or her most frequent emotion
12. Blames you for his or her anger or outbursts
13. Has trouble in other relationships because of his anger
14. Has been expelled or suspended from school or work for anger or fighting
15. Hangs around other people known to be violent
16. Has a short fuse or a hot temper
17. Gets angry when confronted, questioned, or corrected
18. Is preoccupied with violent movies, TV, or video games
19. Idealizes acts of violence and destruction
20. Uses words such as “killed”, “smashed”, and “kicked” in his or her everyday language.
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