Tag Archives: Anger

Are Comfort Zones Comfortable?

Photo Credit: flickr.comAre comfort zones really that comfortable? I doubt that! The major reason why we remain in our comfort zones isn’t because where we are is so comfortable, but it is because we are afraid. We are afraid of starting over, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of the time it will take and the energy/money/resources we will expend and therefore we settle for where we are.

But everything in life has a price, even our comfort zones can be very costly in the end. Just like the sad story of a woman who was alledgedly murdered by the husband. As I read that story and the many reactions that have been following it, all I could ask was why didn’t she leave?

Like most Nigerian women I know who are enduring abusive marriages, their response is always, “who will take care of my children when I leave?” But now that she is dead, who will take care of the children? Continue reading Are Comfort Zones Comfortable?

Strength In Self-control

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty: and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. – PROVERBS 16:32

The strong man is the one who ever keeps himself under strict discipline, who makes his passions his servants and never allows them to be his master; who is ever led by his mind and not by his tendencies.

He drills and disciplines his desires, and never allows them to interfere with his character.

He is never the slave of his dispositions, nor the sport of impulse.

He is the commander of himself.

He is never the slave of his strongest desire.

He understands that he who would command others must first learn to obey, and he who would command his own powers must learn to be submissive to the still small voice within.

He disciplines the passions, curb pride and impatience.

He denies himself the gratification of any desire not sanctioned by reason.

“He who, with strong passions, remains chaste; he who, keenly sensitive, with manly power of indignation in him, can be provoked, and yet restrain himself and forgive—these are strong men, the spiritual heroes.” Unknown

Folks, let us all try to cultivate this one great virtue, “self-control.” “There is nothing so important in life as a thoroughly trained and cultivated will; everything depends upon it. If one has it, he will succeed; if one does not have it, he will fail.”- Orison S. Marden.

Be Strong!

20 SIGNS YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE OR VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP

photo credit: http://blush.com.pk/
photo credit: http://blush.com.pk/
Below are the characteristics of an abusive or violent person according to Sandra L. Brown M.A (psychotherapist, lecturer and consultant in the field of psychopathology)
1. Talks down on you, criticizes you, calls you names, or otherwise uses belittling language against you.
2. Refers to his or her previous partners in negative, demeaning ways
3. Attempts to control or dominate your life choices, small or large.
4. Tries to dictate your spiritual or religious beliefs
5. He or she is frequently irritable
6. Raises his or her voice, yells or screams, even when carrying on a normal conversation.
7. Yells and screams and seems “too worked up” when he or she gets into an argument with you.
8. Has a history of assaults against other people
9. Becomes violent or out of control when using drugs or alcohol
10. Punches walls or throws things when angry
11. Seems to experience anger as his or her most frequent emotion
12. Blames you for his or her anger or outbursts
13. Has trouble in other relationships because of his anger
14. Has been expelled or suspended from school or work for anger or fighting
15. Hangs around other people known to be violent
16. Has a short fuse or a hot temper
17. Gets angry when confronted, questioned, or corrected
18. Is preoccupied with violent movies, TV, or video games
19. Idealizes acts of violence and destruction
20. Uses words such as “killed”, “smashed”, and “kicked” in his or her everyday language.

Related Posts:

4 Surprising Signs You’re In An Abusive Relationship
4 REASONS WHY WE NEED THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES
HOW TO INVEST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
15 Signs You’re In An Abusive Relationship
Warning Signs: Are You in an Abusive Relationship?
10 SIGNS HE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU
AVOID THE CRISIS! 8 TIPS FOR A BETTER COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are You In an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?