Tag Archives: Communication

Be Careful Who You Share Your Dreams With

Be-careful-who-you-shareWe need to be careful how we open up our plans and dreams to other people. While we need people to help us grow, not all people are happy about the advancements we make in life. A wise man once said and I agree, “People want you to succeed but not that much.” The natural mind has some elements of jealousy in it. Not all friends mean well for you; not all of them want you to be ahead of them.

Look around you and you will find marriages and relationships that have been ruined because someone they trusted with information betrayed them. I have seen business opportunities stolen; I have seen jobs lost because people weren’t too happy that one of the parties was being successful. Who do you have in your close network? Who do you share your dreams and goals with? It’s time to take a closer look at your associates and friends or risk being heartbroken. Continue reading Be Careful Who You Share Your Dreams With

Who Should We Listen to?

Who should we listen to? Many of us are always looking for information and advice about our life challenges, but unfortunately we meet the wrong people for this information, and sometimes we end up worsening our situation after applying the techniques and principles we were offered.

I have seen many relationships destroyed, I have seen businesses go under, I have seen people lost jobs, I have seen people miss their purpose just by listening to the wrong people. I believe someone reading this can relate with this; if you’ve gone for counselling or attended a coaching course and still have your issues unresolved despite the amount of money you paid. – It doesn’t mean that the people aren’t qualified, but simply they are not for you.

So who then do we listen to? The best person to listen to, or talk to, or learn from concerning your situation or dreams and goals, is the person who has been where you are and who has what you desire. If you are struggling, going through challenges and poverty, but desire to be successful, you just can’t go and learn from someone who was born into wealth, someone who hasn’t known what it is like to always live on the edge, because they obviously haven’t experienced what you are going through and can’t teach you anything about rising from your position. Continue reading Who Should We Listen to?



More often than not, the challenges we face in our relationships that sometimes lead to frustrations, break ups and divorces come from poor or ineffective communication. We argue, we never resolve issues, we feel that our partners do not hear us or our partners are always criticizing us and so on.
Strengthening the commitments in love relationships is never always easy, but just like a building never collapses without first showing signs through cracks on the walls; we can stay committed in our relationships if we communicate with each other better.

Below are 8 tips for strengthening our relationships:

 Listen: listening is a very important tool we need to have, and to show that we are listening to our partners try repeating their concerns during conversations. This should be done whether or not we tend to agree with what they are saying. Example
you say something like “If I heard you clearly”, or “What you are saying is that…”

 Use Pet Names: Love does not always have to expressed by doing big acts, sometimes little means so much to people. Always use pet names when addressing your partners. Show concern and empathy ask questions like “Did you sleep well Sweetie?” “How was work today honey?” pet names create a foundation for intimacy.

 Use “I” instead of “You” Statements: Most times when expressing our feelings to our partners we tend to always accuse and refer to our partners by using “You” instead of “I”. We make statements such as “you are so annoying”, “you are so selfish”, “you never listen to me”. Instead of these, we should try “I” statements such as “I feel sad”, “I feel demeaned” and so on when expressing our feelings.

 Be Direct: Rather than try to manipulate your partner into meeting your needs, be direct. If you need a kiss or a hug just say “I need a kiss”, or “I need a hug”. Manipulation leads to resistance from our partners.

 Stick with the Issue: During an argument some of us tend to dig up the archives and bring out past grievances. We do not stick to the issue at hand, we often say things like “here you go again..” “The other day it was..now it is”…. “you did this a year ago and I forgave you”. Always stick with the issue, do not make a mountain out of a mole hill or turn the argument into a major blow out of whether you still love and trust each other.

 Calm Down Before You Get Nasty: During disagreements, it is always best if we take time to cool off rather than respond immediately in that state of anger. Just take a break not that you are leaving the disagreement unresolved, but you come back later when the tension has reduced and nerves calmed. Because responding and reacting to your partner’s words immediately could escalate matters.

 Admit When You Are Wrong: often times we let our ego take the better of us. When we are wrong we do not admit it and apologise. We become “cookie thieves”. ( http://globalwebpost.com/farooqm/my_misc/poems/cookie_thief.htm) Let us learn to admit our faults and say sorry for acting in negative ways and also explain why we acted the way we did. Be kind: Dr Wayne Dyer said everyday and every time we always have a choice to be right or to be kind. But we should always choose the path that leads to peace. Choose kindness over your need to be right.