Tag Archives: Friendship

The Danger in Helping Too Much

Photo credit: flickr.com

Blessings can sometimes turn to a curse in one’s life. Even kindness may be overdone. One may be too gentle. Love may hold others back from their purpose and wreck their destinies. There are times when in the process loving others we meddle with God’s discipline for them.

Of course, we are to be helpful to others. No aim should be put higher in our life-plans than that of personal helpfulness. The motto of the true Christian cannot be other than that of the Master: “Not to be ministered unto, but to minister.”

Even in the ambition to gather and retain wealth, the spirit of the desire must be, if we are Christians at all, that thereby we may become more helpful to others; that through, or by means of, our wealth, we may be enabled to do larger and greater good. Whatever gift, power, or possession we have that we do not seek to use in this way is not yet truly devoted to God.

There are many ways to help others, yet too often most people think if you are not giving material things out, you are not helping, yet the truest and best help anyone can give to others is not in material things, but in ways that make them stronger and better. Money is good alms when money is really needed, but in comparison with the divine gifts of hope, friendship, courage, sympathy, and love, it is paltry and poor. Continue reading The Danger in Helping Too Much

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Choose Your Friends

Photo Credit: flickr.com
Photo Credit: flickr.com

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm – Proverbs 13:10

As I ponder on the above scriptures, I cannot help but wonder if many of us realize that much of success or failure in life depends on the choice of our friends and associates. There are many of us who don’t give much thought on the choice of our friends, whereas friends play a very important role in determining how far up or low we go in life. When keeping friends remember this as a rule: friends have the tendency of drawing you to their level. You cannot desire a happy marriage and be having as friends, people who are not faithful in their marriages. You cannot desire a closer walk with God, yet all your friends don’t serve Him. If you mix with people who are idle you will tend to become idle. Take a look at your life this very moment and ask yourself honestly about your friends: “What have I gained since I started mixing with these people?” Folks, if you cannot gain anything positive from your association with somebody, it is a complete waste of time to know him/her. Life is too short to waste time with people who are taking you know where.

If you want to be successful, mix with people who have achieved higher success than you dream of. Continue reading Choose Your Friends

Choose Your Friends

The most important thing in life is a friend, yet most of us do not take the time to choose our friends. It has been said that how far we go in life would be determined by the books we read and the friends we keep. So if you want to reach great heights in life you need to have friends who believe in you and inspire you to get there.

Who are your friends? A man is judged by the quality of his friends. If you hang around and become friends with negative, pessimistic folks, you will become negative and pessimistic, there by living a life below your potentials because we are the average of the people we spend our time with.

Some of us go about trying to be friends with everybody. Folks you can’t live your life that way, it’s not in the hoard of friends you have, but the quality of friends you keep. Friends ought to be carefully chosen and kept. Some of the people we call friends today are not suppose to be around us, we ought to keep them far from us, some may be good for correspondence, some should be mere acquaintances. The path to success requires that you take total control of your thoughts, words and actions. You don’t need to be around toxic people, who are always casting doubts and bursting your dreams. The bible says; “Do not be deceived; evil company corrupts good manners”. You have worked and given so much to get to this point, don’t let negative and toxic people pull you backwards.

As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27: 17(NKJV) “The insight of a true friend is more useful than the goodwill of others” Gain your friends by choice, not by chance, or circumstances. “A wise friend wards off worries, a foolish one brings them about.” Good friends are few, if you have them, keep them, as to keep is more important than to make new ones.

6 WAYS TO OPEN DOORS TO PEOPLE AND 6 WAYS TO CLOSE DOORS TO PEOPLE

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Everyone needs other people to help them in achieving their dreams. We all need each other. In the business and corporate world, we need each other’s market and ideas to succeed. In our personal lives we need each other’s inspiration and support to succeed in achieving or dreams.
We become successful when we understand how valuable other people are in our lives. Every successful person knows and understands the power of relationships. No man can succeed on his own, as John Donne wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself..”
“Our attitude about the interconnection of each of us to all of us and all of us to each of us has a great influence on our future”- Jim Rohn. Nobody is a lone wolf, you cannot succeed alone in this world, but a lot of us are slamming the relationship doors that lead to opportunities and success on our faces by the way we relate to others.

HOW HAVE I BEEN CLOSING DOORS WITH PEOPLE?

1- Feeling and acting superior to people: some of us feel maybe because of our status or some privileges we enjoy, are better and superior to other people. Folks we get nowhere in life with this kind of attitude, because people sense your attitude of superiority. Even when you try to hide or pretend people still sense and know it. Always looking down on people would slam the relationship doors on your face.

2- Acting with blind prejudice: a lot of us prejudge people and cut them of us without giving them a chance. You just look at a person and write them off without ever getting to know them. Operating with blind prejudice closes doors with people. Remember the cliché “never judge a book by its cover”.
3- Guilt by association: some of us do not like people because they simply remind us of somebody else. You ask a person why don’t you like this Guy and he or she say things like; “I don’t like him because he just reminds me of my father in-law”, or because he reminds me of my Ex and so on.

4- Irritability points: Here we just look at somebody and we identify all the little things about them that irritate us and focus on them. For example you just hear things like; “I don’t like the way he wears his tie”, “I don’t like the way she paints her nails”, “I don’t like the way he cuts his hair” and so on. We choose to have irritability points little wonder some of us have such a small circle of friends.

5- Relational Laziness: Most of us would not do those little things that build friendships; we do not return calls, or text back, we won’t send emails o people who email and so on.

6- Mood Swings: A lot of us create fogs around us by our moods. You only look great with people when you are in a good mood, but you are scary when you have a bad mood. This closes doors

HOW DO I OPEN DOORS WITH PEOPLE?

1- Be genuinely interested in other people: Dale Carnegie in his book “How to win friends and influence people” wrote, “you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people to be interested in you”. Let us train ourselves to become truly interested in other people’s life. No matter how fascinating we may be, it still does not mean there are no other fascinating people out there.

2- Names: According to Dale Carnegie, a person’s name is the most important word to the individual in any language. Focus on remembering that person’s name as soon as you meet them, and use the name during conversation with them so that you do not forget it.

3- Be approachable: Do not make it hard for people to contact you. Most of us when we get a new job, or business breakthroughs, we just cannot be approached any longer. Always be approachable and available to people.

4- Be very forgiving with people and they will love you. Understand that no one is perfect and in relationships people make mistakes, they hurt us. Learn to forgive others.

5- Be easy to work with: you open doors with people by being very easy to work with. Be easy with people. Christ with all his glory and power allowed children and ordinary folks around him. Do you allow people around you or you go about with such air of imperialism?

6- Be a good listener: Encourage other people to talk about themselves. It shouldn’t always be about us. Listen to people and when you speak, find a way to link your talk to other people’s interests.“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to a ruin, but there is a friend that who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 “Wisdom is the power to learn something from everyone”. – Ancient proverb.

4 REASONS WHY WE NEED THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

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We all want to have good relationships in our lives; we want friendships that matter, we want family life that is fulfilling, wonderful and exciting. To achieve this we need the right people in our lives.
Here are four specific reasons why we need the right people:
1- We need the right people because the right people connect us to life. They connect us to the power and energy of human living, they connect us to the positive live energy of other people. So we need relationships, we need friendships that are mutually beneficial. There is no easier or more effective way to fill the gap between where you are and where we want to be than having the right people on our side.

2- The right people fulfil the needs of our hearts. We all know what it is like to feel empty, to go through the motions of life and not have a true friend or a soul mate, so the right people when found will create fulfilment of the heart, and eliminate of the loneliness we fee inside, and the connect us on a deeper level.

3- The right people expand who we are; they expand who we can become. Take a look at your life right now, and ask yourself if as a result the relationships you have, you have grown mentally, spiritually, and economically. What new things have you learnt? How have you changed? This will help you determine if you need more of that.

4- The people in our lives can help us attain our God given purpose. This is such a vital element of life because God has a purpose for everyone. You need to be around people who will be proud of your faith in God, and what God wants us to be. Remember you are so vital to God.
The people around you dictate your success. They can also forecast your failure.