Tag Archives: Love

7 Things Your Man Need

photo credit: examiner.com
photo credit: examiner.com

1- A man needs to know that his lady got his back always

2- A man needs his lady to make him feel like he a king, even if he doesn’t act like one. The truth is if you make him feel he is special, he will give you more in return.

3- A man needs compliments from his lady

4- A man also needs to be appreciated. Simple words like ‘Thank you’ gives the man strength to keep on doing right and good for you his lady.

5- A man needs words of encouragement. Never always think that because men are hard, they never need encouragement. – We do.

6- A man needs loyalty. – every man needs to know that when things are bad, you are going to stay, when he loses his job, he won’t lose you too.

7- A man needs sex.

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“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother”. Abraham Lincoln
“A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labours of other men living and dead, and that I must exert myself in other to give the same measure as I have received”. Albert Einstein

As you think about what those two great men said, you will realize great wisdom in their words.

Who isn’t indebted? We all are. First we are indebted to God for creating us and this amazing planet that we live in.

We are indebted to our parents because they are responsible for bringing us into this world.

We are indebted to the doctors, nurses, midwives and other hospital personnel for they part they played in making our
arrival safe.

We are indebted to the school and educational system we learned how to read and write, which are critical to our lives.

We are indebted to the pastors, priests and other religious leaders who taught us the essence of life by instructing us in the character qualities that are important to us.

We are indebted to the people whose messages, blogs, and websites have been encouraging as well as informative.

We are indebted to our country and our leaders, and others who have committed their lives to service.

When you look at your life, you will discover notice that the list is endless. We have a huge debt, and one way to repay it is to express thanks and gratitude to the people who make our lives worth living.

Thank you for following, reading, commenting, liking, and sharing this blog posts.

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10 Signs He is just Not Into You

2573762303_365ac020f8I read a book recently titled; He is just not that into you: the no – excuse truths to understanding guys. Witten by Greg behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. I found it a great read and quite revealing.

Here are 10 signs to knowing if a guy is not into you adapted from the book:

1- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out: Because If he likes he will ask you out. “Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you. If you don’t think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half.”

2- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You: Men know how to use the phone. Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialling it is almost impossible not to call you… If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you. If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.

3- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You: “Hanging out” is not dating. When you ask someone out on a real bonafide date, you’re making it official: I’d like to see you alone to find out if we have a romantic future together (or at least pretend to listen to you while I ponder whether you’re wearing a thong). In case you need more clues: There’s usually a public excursion, a meal, and some hand-holding involved.

4- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Having Sex with Someone Else: There’s never going to be a good excuse for cheating. Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn’t merit him having sex with someone else. Don’t ask what you did wrong. Don’t share the blame. And in case he tells you that it just “happened,” please remember, cheating doesn’t just “happen.” It’s not an accident as in, “Oops, I just slipped and fell into a sexual relationship with someone else.” It was planned and executed with the full knowledge that it could end your relationship.

5- He’s Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He’s Drunk: If he likes you, he will want to see you when his judgement isn’t impaired. It doesn’t count unless he says it when he’s sober. An “I Love You” (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won’t hold up in court or in life. Drinking and drug use are not a path to one’s innermost feelings. Otherwise people wouldn’t smash empty beer cans against their skulls or stick their fingers in fire to see if they can feel anything. If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc., when he’s inebriated, it ain’t love—it’s sport. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t have to get loaded to be around you.

6- He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want to Marry You: Love cures commitment – phobia. Just remember this. Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has “issues” with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you. Because he’s not really saying he doesn’t want to get married. He’s saying he doesn’t want to get married to you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married. You shouldn’t feel ashamed, needy, or “unliberated” for wanting that. So make sure from the start that you pick a guy who shares your views for the future, and if not, move on as quickly as you can. Big plans require big action

7- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Breaking Up with You: Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn’t want you in his life anymore, his sad, wistful “I miss you so much” voice on the other end of the phone? It’s validating. It’s exciting. It’s irresistible. But resist you must. You can’t talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one. There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

8- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Disappeared on You: He’s gone. Poof. Vanished into thin air. Well, there’s no mixed message here. He’s made it clear that he’s so not into you that he couldn’t even bother to leave you a Post-it. This time you may not be so quick to make excuses for his behaviour. It’s so painful, it’s impossible not to be hurt or angry. But because of that, you might be tempted to make some excuses for yourself. You have good reason to want to spend a lot of energy solving the Mystery of the Disappearing Man. But all those excuses, however valid they are, will not help you in the long run. Because the only part of that story that’s important to remember is that he didn’t want to be with you anymore. And he didn’t have the guts to tell you that to your face. Case closed.

9- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Married: He’s married. Unless he’s all yours, he’s still hers. There are cool, loving single men in the world. Find one of them to go out with.

10- He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s a Selfish Jerk, a Bully: “He’s got so much good in him. He really does. I just wish he wouldn’t tell me to shut up all the time.” Yeah, that’s a problem. Try not to ignore it. I know “he’s got so many other great qualities.” That’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. Ask yourself one question only: Is he making you happy? People are complicated. That’s why trying to figure them out is a waste of time. Is he making you happy? I don’t mean some of the time, on rare occasions, not that often, “but the good still outweighs the bad.” Does he make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If the answer is no, cut him loose and go find a man with a higher “good count.”

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This a true story about Thomas Carlyle (1795 – 1881). One of the World’s greatest Writers, a Philosopher and Historian.

On October 17th 1826, Carlyle married his secretary Jane Welsh. She was an intelligent, attractive and somewhat temperamental daughter of a well to do Doctor. They had quarrels and misunderstandings, but they still loved each other dearly.

After the marriage, Jane continued to serve as his secretary. And after many years of marriage, Jane became ill. Being a hard worker, Carlyle became so absorbed in his writings that he let Jane continue working for several weeks after she became ill. She had cancer, and it was one of the slow growing kind. Finally she became confined to her bed. Although Carlyle loved her dearly, he very seldom found time to stay with her very long. He was busy with his work.
And when Jane died, they carried her to the cemetery for the funeral service. The day was a miserable one. It was raining hard and the mud was deep.

Following the funeral, Carlyle went back to his home. He was taking it pretty hard, so he went up the stairs to Jane’s room and sat down on a chair next to her bed. And as he sat there thinking about how little time he had spent with her, wishing so much he had had a chance to do it differently. He noticed her diary on a table beside her bed. He picked it up and began to read.
Suddenly he seemed shocked. He saw it there on one page, she had written a single line; “Yesterday he spent an hour with me, and it was like heaven. I love him so much.” Something dawned on him that he had not noticed before. He had been too busy to notice that he meant so much to her. He thought of all the times that he had gone about his work without thinking about or noticing her. Then Carlyle turned the page in the diary, there he noticed she had written some words that broke his heart. “I have listened all day to hear his footsteps in the hall, but now it is late and I guess he won’t come up today.”

Carlyle read a little more of the book, then he threw it down and ran out of the house. Some of his friends found him at the grave, face buried in the mud, his eyes were red from weeping. Tears continued to roll down his cheeks, and he kept repeating over and over again; “If I had only known. If I had only known”. But it was too late for Carlyle. She was dead.

Let us learn from this story and not make the same mistakes in life. Most of the things required in building and nurturing a relationship are inexpensive. A little more time. A little more care an affection. Being there when they need us most. Just saying I LOVE YOU…All these do not require money.Folks “while our loved ones must have the money we make, it is the love we have that they really want.” Show and give love to somebody NOW…this very moment before it is too late.


This really is about actions that lead to a wonderful relationship with your partner. They are valuable lessons shared by people who have had decades of loving marriages and relationships with their partners, as I sought to know from them what the secret was. What kept their love flames alive and burning in a world filled with unprecedented number of breakups and divorces.
It is my opinion that if we follow each of these actions and put them to work in our relationships we would enjoy that love we seek. Your relationship may not need the entire list, maybe just one or two. But as you read this, pause to examine your relationship so that you can find what is missing in it.
So here are seven keys to make your relationship work:

#1 Alignment of basic values and goals: The first thing you do is to sit down with your partner and find out what your basic values and goals are, and the direction you both want the relationship to go. Know whether the relationship CAN work, here you both have to be frank about your differences and values, what you can and cannot compromise about. Make these decisions HERE before you end up with the wrong person.

#2 Respectful communication: this is very crucial in creating a trusting relationship and without it the relationship devolves into a battlefield. Communication isn’t a one way street so it has to flow both ways. Respectful communication involves the art of listening. You could talk to your partner all day long, but if he doesn’t LISTEN to you then all the words are meaningless. The art of listening is probably even more important than talking. Someone said “the reason why God gave us one mouth and two ears is to talk less and listen more.”

#3 Show your partner affection: affection is the bond in relationships. It is the expression of care. It symbolizes protection, security, comfort. When you show affection to your partner you are telling him or her “you are important to me.” “I will care for you and protect you always.” All humans respond deeply to intimacy touch, affection, kindness, and tone of voice. Non verbal form of communication impacts the relationship greatly. A simple hug can say those things.

#4 Appreciate your partner: this is important yet many of us don’t know how to do it. Most of us feel so uncomfortable saying why and how much we care for each other. We assume our partners know or should know how much we appreciate them and the things they do. It’s important you never assume your partner knows anything about what your feelings are. Simple appreciative words like ‘Thank you for the food’, ‘thank you for being there’, thank you for helping out’, ‘thank you for working so hard for us’…these little words and moments of gratitude can greatly inspire each other to make the relationship grow. Try it.

#5 Quality time: Seeing your partner everyday doesn’t mean you both are spending quality time together. You have to find out what your partner enjoys doing with you and share that moment together with him or her, the point is not on what you are doing, but why you are doing it. Dr Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages” says quality time means undivided attention. This means you have to have a presence of mind when you are with your partner, not just sitting together and all you do is focusing on the television when your partner really wants to have a nice conversation with you. If you love somebody you will do anything and everything to spend time with them that is meaningful.

#6 Compromise: a successful relationship requires compromise from both of you. You will have to adjust to each other, making time and taking in different viewpoints. Lack of compromise is a very selfish thing to do. You mustn’t have it your way all the time. “Sometimes letting go is the most mature skill – no couple agrees on all points.”

#7 Finally always remember that “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain..” If your relationship is not rooted in God, you will have trouble making it work, because nothing you do would seem enough. It is The LORD that blesses your efforts, and gives you the wisdom to act in a certain way. The bible says GOD is love, so when He comes in, automatically love sets in.

Feel free to contact me on any private thoughts or questions you might want to ask.

Enjoy God’s Love in Your Relationship!