Does your spouse/partner have to change before you can love them completely? Personally I think not. I believe love should be unconditional, as there isn’t any flawless human out there. And to the guys who are frustrating their spouses/partners out of the relationships by demanding that they change to fit the perfect image of a lady they have in their heads, they could learn a thing or two from Bruno Mars’ song Just the way you are.
During a conversation I had with a friend recently, I was asked, should it just be about women? Women be this, be that, do this or that in a relationship or marriage. What about the men don’t they have roles too? This really got me thinking, because truly as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Men too have roles to play in sustaining their relationships or marriages. We can’t just leave all the changing and doing to women alone!
Every man desires a good wife, but we forget that, as a proverb states, “Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands.” So you see, your lover, wife is as good as you make them to be. The woman is simply the reflection of her man. Ladies are always told to be subject to the man, to try and please, show love, affection, be caring, be able to take care of their homes and much more. We forget that no matter how skilful a lady is in the area of home making and “man keeping” if the man doesn’t notice, appreciate, contribute, and compliment her, her efforts will be in vain.
Several women today are in want of a man who will reciprocate their love, appreciate their good and their self-sacrifice. Many times especially here in Africa, it is the woman takes care of the home and the entire family, combining that with her businesses and careers, and making sure her keep herself in shape to please the man, and as a reward the man doesn’t even notice these efforts.
I have come to discover that sometimes, when relationships and marriages fail, it isn’t because the woman isn’t doing enough, but some men are just so difficult to please. Nothing, no amount of work or sacrifice a lady does is ever enough. They go about finding faults in all things. There are selfish husbands who go about amusing themselves with friends, without giving their women any chance. But does it ever occur to such “Egyptian taskmasters” that all work and no play is quite as bad for women as for men? Continue reading Not Just For The Woman. Men Have Roles Too→
Dr. Steve Maraboli is a life-changing Speaker, bestselling Author, and Behavioural Science Academic. His empowering and insightful words have been shared and published throughout the world in more than 25 languages. Here 10 carefully selected quotes to inspire you have better love relationships, and take charge of your life;
Many people make the mistake of expecting others to treat them in a more loving and respectful way than they treat themselves. If you don’t love yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t respect yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t forgive yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t keep promises to yourself, stop expecting others to. If you are not being faithful to your dreams, your goals, and your resolutions, stop expecting others to.”
Only insecure Boys will belittle a woman. The greatest way to “Man-up” is to empower women.
Just because you are available for a relationship doesn’t mean you are ready for one. If you are not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth, when entering a relationship, then you are not ready for that relationship. Don’t make the other person suffer for your own lack of integrity or inability to embrace the truths of your life.
John Legend is an award winning American R&B Artist. His songs “All of me” dedicated to his wife and “You and I” have impacted the world of music since their release. Here I draw out real relationship lessons on how men can treat their ladies from the lyrics of those songs:
Always appreciate her wisdom and advice; when you heed your lady’s advice and it saves you a lot of troubles…please drop your ego and let her know without her help, whatever you achieved wouldn’t be possible. Or just as John Legend puts it; “What would I do without your smart mouth?”
When last did you renew your love or marriage vows?: follow John Legend make that commitment again, tell her: “ Give your all to me, and I will give my all to you”, “All of me loves all of you”
We men have an aversion to talking about feelings,that is why it is very difficult to find a man talking to his wife or girlfriend about what she does to irritate him.
So you may want to pay attention to this list:
1. Most men are turned off by a woman who is too materialistic. If you pay too much attention to what kind of shoes a guy is wearing or what kind of designer clothes he has on or what kind of car he drives,..they would run away”.
2. When a woman is jealous, it can be a turnoff.
3. Men like women who are responsible. They don’t like women who don’t have a life. It isn’t just about looks.
4. When a man has had a busy day, he doesn’t need you to add to his pressure. Insisting he has to see you or be with you. It turns men off.
5. Don’t make your man look bad in front of people. If something is wrong, deal with it at home, or when you two are alone.
6. “The fear every guy has is that after marriage the girl is going to cut her hair off, gain too much weight, and stop putting out.”
7. No man likes to be with a drunk. If you want a decent man in your life, don’t ever get drunk with him.
8. “Never let a guy know you’re sitting home waiting for his call, or that he’s your whole life.” Men also like knowing other men want you, just as long as you aren’t sleeping with any of them.
9. When a woman chases you, it will turn you off. Try and have some dignity
Below are the characteristics of an abusive or violent person according to Sandra L. Brown M.A (psychotherapist, lecturer and consultant in the field of psychopathology)
1. Talks down on you, criticizes you, calls you names, or otherwise uses belittling language against you.
2. Refers to his or her previous partners in negative, demeaning ways
3. Attempts to control or dominate your life choices, small or large.
4. Tries to dictate your spiritual or religious beliefs
5. He or she is frequently irritable
6. Raises his or her voice, yells or screams, even when carrying on a normal conversation.
7. Yells and screams and seems “too worked up” when he or she gets into an argument with you.
8. Has a history of assaults against other people
9. Becomes violent or out of control when using drugs or alcohol
10. Punches walls or throws things when angry
11. Seems to experience anger as his or her most frequent emotion
12. Blames you for his or her anger or outbursts
13. Has trouble in other relationships because of his anger
14. Has been expelled or suspended from school or work for anger or fighting
15. Hangs around other people known to be violent
16. Has a short fuse or a hot temper
17. Gets angry when confronted, questioned, or corrected
18. Is preoccupied with violent movies, TV, or video games
19. Idealizes acts of violence and destruction
20. Uses words such as “killed”, “smashed”, and “kicked” in his or her everyday language.