As I listened to Olivia Newton-John’s song “Let go and let God” on my music player, I just could not help but think of the people out there who are still struggling with the pains of a loss of a loved one, divorce, broken relationship, loss of job or business, etc.
Or maybe yours is not loss, maybe you are struggling to hang on to something that is not working anymore, maybe your relationship is becoming frustrating by the day, your job is no longer fulfilling, your kids are not doing well, or something else.
Life may seem to be cruel sometimes, especially when the waves of life tosses us about, and leaves us with little or nothing to hold on to, in these moments most people just do not know how to handle life anymore. They get stuck in the past whining and complaining about these circumstances, and refusing to move on. The world does not stand still, it is changing. Just because something was not right for you in the past doesn’t mean it is still wrong.
Learn to let go folks. “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ―Ann Landers.
Holding on and hanging onto the pains of loss or setbacks in life is like believing that life is made only of the past.
Letting go means believing and knowing that there is a brighter future ahead. How many times have we allowed temporary defeats and setbacks to affect us as if they were permanent failures, instead of learning from it and moving on? Think about what Paul said in his letter to the Romans when he wrote “And we know all things work together for good to those who love God…”instead of holding on to the pains, dust yourself up and move on knowing that things will work out for your good.
WHY THEN DON’T WE OFTEN LET GO?
The major factor why people find it difficult to let go is FEAR. Fear is holding some of us back, and keeping us forever behind and in pains. Fear brings hate, poor self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, loneliness, laziness, and the likes. Below are some of the fears keeping us from letting go;
#1 Fear of the Unknown; Thoughts of past pains and mistakes makes you miserable, you feel it is known and know what to expect from the past. The future on the other hand is unknown, scary, unpredictable and difficult to plan for. This thought has kept so many people down and prevents them from moving on and experiencing new life.
#2 Fear of Making Mistakes; some people are afraid of letting go because they do not want to make mistakes. They feel they are incapable of getting things right, so remain fixed to a spot. We fail to realize that everyone who has ever risen above their travails in life made lots of mistakes along the way. Mistakes should be welcomed because it is the only way we learn and grow. How can you ever know success if you don’t know what failure is?
#3 Fear of Losing Relationships or Other Things You Value; many individuals fear that if they embrace the future and let go of their past and pains, they will lose their relationships, family members and other things they treasure. Truth is letting go allows your true friends and gifts to manifest. Of course you will lose some friends, but that is part of the process, and you have to realize that anyone or anything you lose isn’t meant to be in your life as you seek to move on. This opens doors for better and higher relationships in your life. The circumstance and decision to move on will reveal who your true friends are.
HOW DO I LET GO?
#1 Forgiveness; “forgiveness isn’t something you do for someone else; it is something you do for yourself. When we choose not to forgive we carry the burden of whatever wrong was done against/towards us.” An important factor in the process of letting go is to forgive every event or person that has hurt us, because when we do not we pull ourselves down, and help spread the poison around our lives.
#2 Leave your Comfort Zone; letting go of events, words, people, habits that don’t serve us is a difficult thing for most people to do. In-order to grow one must leave the familiar behind and face the unfamiliar. You must make a conscious deliberate effort of making the uncomfortable, become comfortable for you, and this is done by facing the fear of the unknown. Realize that fear is something made up by your mind to keep you bound, and in fact most of the things we fear do not even exist in reality.
#3 Take Full Control of Your Life; no one else is responsible for yourself but you. Some of us have bought into the lie that other people example our parents, friends, teachers, pastors, lovers, partners, children and every other person but us is responsible for the way our life has been up till this moment. This is a great lie! Accept responsibility of your life, change the way you think and see yourself. If you ever want to let go and move on, you have to do it yourself. Stop playing the victim.
#4 Focus on Today; today is the greatest gift you have that is why it is called the PRESENT. The past has moved on and already forgotten you, so why are you still living it? Decide right now that the past events will not hold you back anymore, pick out the lessons from it and focus on what to do next. Take positive steps toward having your life back. Begin today and take that first step towards letting go, and your future would unravel as you go.
#5 Let God Deal with it; just as Olivia Newton-John’s song said, “Let go and let God”; “when you cannot find your direction and your heart won’t guide you home “Let Go Let God”. When your dreams are broken in the dust and you’ve lost the will to trust “Let Go Let God”…When faiths is a dying fire and there is no spark to feed the flame “Let Go and Let God”. When your courage fails you and the well of hope runs dry “Let Go and Let God”…… Folks you have to let God deal with it. We may not know how to handle the pains and brokenness, but He sure does, and is willing. Christ said; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke…..for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Matthew 11:28-30
Share your thoughts on how you are dealing with your past or how you were able to Let Go by leaving a comment below.