Tag Archives: Personal develpoment

The Power Of No

‘NO’ is a very powerful word, yet we often find it hard to say no to everybody’s request. Personally I have struggled with this. I find myself saying yes to things I should be saying no to. I am sure you too have had a time too when you should say no, but ended up saying yes.

Why do we find it so difficult to say no to everybody’s request, even when saying yes to someone else often means saying no to a better relationship, a healthier body, and a more successful life.
What are we afraid of when we say no? Successful people say no all the time – to projects, to crazy deadlines, to questionable priorities, and to other people’s crisis. In fact they view the decision to say no as equally acceptable as the decision to say yes.

Saying no can help us get what we want, in unfulfilling relationships, businesses, careers etc. yet many of us wouldn’t say it, we would rather be tactful, opting for phrases like, “I don’t know”, “maybe later”, “I will call you later”, “I will call you”, or I need some time. Folks few people can get angry at you for making and standing on the commitment of saying no when it conflicts with your priorities and values. In fact they will come to respect you for your strength and commitment.Make that commitment today, to say NO to whatever isn’t working for you – in your relationships, career, business, health, dreams etc. When you do this you will discover in the process that your life would be more fulfilled.

Related Posts:

Steve Jobs: Innovation is Saying “No” to 1,000 things (zurb.com)
The Value of Saying No (boss.blogs.nytimes.com)
value of saying NO(tightship.us)
Understanding the value of saying No(sayingnowithoughtfeelingguilty.com)
The True Power of No – How and When to Say It, and Mean It, and Live It(wildonewithin.wordpress.com)
It’s The Most Terrifying Word You’ll Ever Say(todaymade.com)
Power of No Or Say Yes to Everything?(anthrogeek.com)
The Power of Saying “No”(timewellspentnj.wordpress.com)
7 Personal Development Benefits of Saying No (Repost)(www.ronedmonson.com)

The Optimist Creed

“ I Promise Myself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel
that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything
and make my optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature I meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of myself
that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on my side
so long as I am true to the best that is in me.”

― Christian D. Larson

Related Posts:

51 Career Affirmations
Affirmative Thinking
‘success affirmation’
36 Affirmations to Inspire and Rewire Your Brain to Success!


1- Successful people focus on continuous self improvement
2- They have an open mind and are very flexible
3- They dream big dreams
4- They have a clear sense of direction
5- They set goals and write them down
6- Successful people are unique; they don’t follow the crowd
7- They associate with the right people
8- They always ask for help
9- They are focused; and do one thing at a time
10- Successful people are very optimistic
11- They believe in themselves
12- They have strong personal values
13- They are dedicated to serving others
14- They are always the first to give
15- Successful people do what they love
16- They believe in paying the price in advance
17- They take risks
18- They accept full responsibility when things go wrong
19- They never despair at failure
20- Successful people fall but they never stay down
21- They make decisions fast
22- They live with a sense of urgency
A lot of us may agree with these qualities after reading them, but agreeing isn’t enough. What makes the difference is acquiring these qualities and turning them into habits.


As I listened to Olivia Newton-John’s song “Let go and let God” on my music player, I just could not help but think of the people out there who are still struggling with the pains of a loss of a loved one, divorce, broken relationship, loss of job or business, etc.

Or maybe yours is not loss, maybe you are struggling to hang on to something that is not working anymore, maybe your relationship is becoming frustrating by the day, your job is no longer fulfilling, your kids are not doing well, or something else.

Life may seem to be cruel sometimes, especially when the waves of life tosses us about, and leaves us with little or nothing to hold on to, in these moments most people just do not know how to handle life anymore. They get stuck in the past whining and complaining about these circumstances, and refusing to move on. The world does not stand still, it is changing. Just because something was not right for you in the past doesn’t mean it is still wrong.

Learn to let go folks. “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ―Ann Landers.
Holding on and hanging onto the pains of loss or setbacks in life is like believing that life is made only of the past.

Letting go means believing and knowing that there is a brighter future ahead. How many times have we allowed temporary defeats and setbacks to affect us as if they were permanent failures, instead of learning from it and moving on? Think about what Paul said in his letter to the Romans when he wrote “And we know all things work together for good to those who love God…”instead of holding on to the pains, dust yourself up and move on knowing that things will work out for your good.


The major factor why people find it difficult to let go is FEAR. Fear is holding some of us back, and keeping us forever behind and in pains. Fear brings hate, poor self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, loneliness, laziness, and the likes. Below are some of the fears keeping us from letting go;

#1 Fear of the Unknown; Thoughts of past pains and mistakes makes you miserable, you feel it is known and know what to expect from the past. The future on the other hand is unknown, scary, unpredictable and difficult to plan for. This thought has kept so many people down and prevents them from moving on and experiencing new life.

#2 Fear of Making Mistakes; some people are afraid of letting go because they do not want to make mistakes. They feel they are incapable of getting things right, so remain fixed to a spot. We fail to realize that everyone who has ever risen above their travails in life made lots of mistakes along the way. Mistakes should be welcomed because it is the only way we learn and grow. How can you ever know success if you don’t know what failure is?

#3 Fear of Losing Relationships or Other Things You Value; many individuals fear that if they embrace the future and let go of their past and pains, they will lose their relationships, family members and other things they treasure. Truth is letting go allows your true friends and gifts to manifest. Of course you will lose some friends, but that is part of the process, and you have to realize that anyone or anything you lose isn’t meant to be in your life as you seek to move on. This opens doors for better and higher relationships in your life. The circumstance and decision to move on will reveal who your true friends are.


#1 Forgiveness; “forgiveness isn’t something you do for someone else; it is something you do for yourself. When we choose not to forgive we carry the burden of whatever wrong was done against/towards us.” An important factor in the process of letting go is to forgive every event or person that has hurt us, because when we do not we pull ourselves down, and help spread the poison around our lives.

#2 Leave your Comfort Zone; letting go of events, words, people, habits that don’t serve us is a difficult thing for most people to do. In-order to grow one must leave the familiar behind and face the unfamiliar. You must make a conscious deliberate effort of making the uncomfortable, become comfortable for you, and this is done by facing the fear of the unknown. Realize that fear is something made up by your mind to keep you bound, and in fact most of the things we fear do not even exist in reality.

#3 Take Full Control of Your Life; no one else is responsible for yourself but you. Some of us have bought into the lie that other people example our parents, friends, teachers, pastors, lovers, partners, children and every other person but us is responsible for the way our life has been up till this moment. This is a great lie! Accept responsibility of your life, change the way you think and see yourself. If you ever want to let go and move on, you have to do it yourself. Stop playing the victim.

#4 Focus on Today; today is the greatest gift you have that is why it is called the PRESENT. The past has moved on and already forgotten you, so why are you still living it? Decide right now that the past events will not hold you back anymore, pick out the lessons from it and focus on what to do next. Take positive steps toward having your life back. Begin today and take that first step towards letting go, and your future would unravel as you go.

#5 Let God Deal with it; just as Olivia Newton-John’s song said, “Let go and let God”; “when you cannot find your direction and your heart won’t guide you home “Let Go Let God”. When your dreams are broken in the dust and you’ve lost the will to trust “Let Go Let God”…When faiths is a dying fire and there is no spark to feed the flame “Let Go and Let God”. When your courage fails you and the well of hope runs dry “Let Go and Let God”…… Folks you have to let God deal with it. We may not know how to handle the pains and brokenness, but He sure does, and is willing. Christ said; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke…..for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Matthew 11:28-30
Share your thoughts on how you are dealing with your past or how you were able to Let Go by leaving a comment below.


Russell Conwell in his classic “Acres Of Diamonds” told a true story of an African farmer who heard of others who had become wealthy by discovering diamond mines. He sold his farm and other assets and travelled the continent for so many years in search of diamonds until at last old, sick, weary and frustrated, he threw himself into a river and drowned. Meanwhile back at the farm he sold, the new owner found a large brilliant rough diamond in the creek while washing. A friend told him he had found one of the largest diamonds ever. His creek was filled with such stones.
Now the farm the first farmer had sold that he might find a diamond mine turned out to be the most productive diamond mine in the entire African continent. The first farmer had owned free and clear acres of diamonds. He should have searched his own property thoroughly before moving on. He didn’t even look.
At this moment each of us is standing in the midst of his or her own acre of diamonds. Explore the field you are in, “if the grass is greener on the other side, it’s probably getting better care” don’t run from one place to another, one thing to another forever looking for a ‘pot of gold’ or ‘an oil well’. Stay where you are until you find what you seek. “Getting rich is not a matter of environment, for if it were, all the people in certain neighbourhoods would become wealthy; the people of one city would all be rich, while those of other towns would all be poor, or the inhabitants of one state would roll in wealth while those of other states would be in poverty.” Right where you are there are successful people, so let your mind thoroughly explore the possibilities around you.
There were very good reasons why you chose your present work in the beginning, if not then it may be time to move on to another field. Find acres of diamonds hiding in your work, relationships, city. The diamonds of opportunity are there, your duty is to find them. Think of better ways to serve, right where you are. Look at your work through the eyes of ‘intelligent objectivity’. Leave no stone unturned. There are better ways to do what you are doing presently, seek them and improve. Overcome! Prevail right where you are. Stay and get rid of your problems. “Success is a matter of sticking to a set of common sense principles anyone can master”.