Tag Archives: Relationships

8 Things to Consider When Choosing a Husband

Photo Credit: flickr.com
Photo Credit: flickr.com

The spate of divorces, tales of heartbreaks; domestic violence; maltreatments; and so many other complains from women in the hands of their spouses, got me really wondering as to what women consider when they choose to date or marry men.

I do know that women are always choosy and careful about things that matter to them. A woman would not hire a housemaid whom they have very little information about; a woman wouldn’t hire a security person whose character hasn’t been proven; women are always careful about their drivers, hairstylist, tailors, and other customers…they go all the lengths just to make sure they can trust these people.

Yet when it comes to marriage, many women are always in haste. And in their haste to be married many women are too easily satisfied with the characters of men who may offer themselves as husbands.

In a rush to beat the “woman clock”, and yielding to family pressures, they cling to any man that comes along, with even less information as to their characters they will accept husbands and vow to love, honour, and obey them! Ladies, marriage isn’t something you do with short term planning or thinking. Continue reading 8 Things to Consider When Choosing a Husband

How to Be Happy in Your Relationship or Marriage

Photo Credit: flickr.com
Photo Credit: flickr.com

Fate, circumstances, or other people may help you discover love, and from there a love affair starts that may end up in marriage, but fate, circumstances, or people cannot guarantee how happy that relationship or marriage turns out to be. Just like a wise man once put it; “No man ever gained a happy life by chance, or yawned it into being with a wish.”
Yet there are many of us who falsely believe that dating or marrying the person you love is an automatic ticket to a life of happiness, only to discover later on that that happiness in relationships and marriages, must be worked for; must be earned by patient endurance, self-restraint, and an accommodation for the likes and dislikes of your partner.

The reason why there seem to be many tales of unhappiness in relationships and marriages is because many of us expect to find happiness without taking any trouble to make it, or we become so selfishly preoccupied that we cannot enjoy our relationships.
Happiness in love relationships can only be achieved through continuous sacrifice. We fall in love, and get married to end our misery, yet we become more miserable in our relationships, because many of us ignore the law of “self-sacrifice” which operates in all things God created. The law, that states that; it is more blessed to give than to receive. Continue reading How to Be Happy in Your Relationship or Marriage

Speak only Beauty

Every word or thought that you express will return to you. Knowing this, never say anything to make others discouraged or unhappy; it will come back to you. When you give unhappiness to others, you are giving unhappiness to yourself. When you add to the joy of others, you are adding to your own joy. Say only good about others. Look at the beautiful side of others. Everyone has a beautiful side, find it and think of that only. – So many marriages and relationships will still be existing today, if we had practised this. Remember all our words and actions are seeds, they will surely grow and yield fruits no matter how long it takes. Sow joy and happiness, and you will be reaping a harvest of joy in your life.

Don’t Put Off Living

Many of us believe that we will be happy once we achieve some specific goals that we have set for ourselves. Maybe the goal is getting a promotion at work, getting a new job, getting married, driving a nicer car, and so on. But too often, we discover that even after attaining those goals, we still aren’t happy with our lives. Dale Carnegie once wrote; “one of the most tragic things I know about the human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of engaging the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”

Let us not put off living today, and be like “the child who says ‘Someday when I am a big boy.’ The big boy says ‘Some day when I grow up.’ And then grown up he says ‘Someday when I get married.’ After he is married, the thought changes to ‘Someday when I am able to retire.’ And then when retirement comes, he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind seem to sweep over it, somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn too late, is in the living in the tissue of everyday and hour.” – Dale Carnegie

Folks let us be appreciative of where we are, what we have right now. Don’t put off being happy today until tomorrow, or until you have certain goals or success, because while you will be happy when your goals, and dreams have been realized, you will discover that the happiness is only momentarily and then you are off again to seek further sources of happiness.

“By continuously engaging in the cycle of longing, you never actually allow yourself to be in the present. You end up living your life at some point just off in the future. You only have one moment – the one right here, right now. If you skip over ‘here’ in your rush to get ‘there’, you deny yourself the full range of feelings and sensations that can only be experienced in the present moment.” – Cherie Carter – Scott.

Our present moment is a mystery that we are part of….Here and now is where all the wonder of life lies hidden…when all is said and done, now is all there is, and all there ever has been. – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Top 10 Things That Turn Men Off

photo credit: lancescurv.com
photo credit: lancescurv.com
We men have an aversion to talking about feelings,that is why it is very difficult to find a man talking to his wife or girlfriend about what she does to irritate him.
So you may want to pay attention to this list:
1. Most men are turned off by a woman who is too materialistic. If you pay too much attention to what kind of shoes a guy is wearing or what kind of designer clothes he has on or what kind of car he drives,..they would run away”.

2. When a woman is jealous, it can be a turnoff.

3. Men like women who are responsible. They don’t like women who don’t have a life. It isn’t just about looks.

4. When a man has had a busy day, he doesn’t need you to add to his pressure. Insisting he has to see you or be with you. It turns men off.

5. Don’t make your man look bad in front of people. If something is wrong, deal with it at home, or when you two are alone.

6. “The fear every guy has is that after marriage the girl is going to cut her hair off, gain too much weight, and stop putting out.”

7. No man likes to be with a drunk. If you want a decent man in your life, don’t ever get drunk with him.

8. “Never let a guy know you’re sitting home waiting for his call, or that he’s your whole life.” Men also like knowing other men want you, just as long as you aren’t sleeping with any of them.

9. When a woman chases you, it will turn you off. Try and have some dignity

10. Never make a man feel he has to report back to you when you are with him. That’s an instant turnoff.
Related Posts:
The 25 Biggest Male Turn-Offs
11 Things That Turn Guys
Things Women Do That Totally Turn Men Off
“Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke – joke or dangerous?
What is Too Much? Ladies That Do the Most and Turn Men Off
14 Things About Women That Turn Guys On
15 Weird Things Guys Do That Turn Us Off

How to Choose Your Financial Mate

Fotolia_54609181_XSIt’s not a secret: relationships take a lot of hard work. It’s tough to intertwine lives, beliefs, and finances in a peaceful and harmonious way that satisfies both parties. You want things one way. Your partner may want them another.
There are constant compromises and sacrifices to endure. Whose turn is it to choose the movie? Why pasta for dinner again? Why do you get to buy a PS4, but I can’t have a new cell phone?

When you add money issues into the mix, things sour — and fast. So fast, they can occasionally curdle. Sometimes, there’s nothing left to do but throw everything away.
Start your relationships off on the right foot. By knowing yourself and your partner’s financial states of mind, you’ll ease many of those inherent tensions and make life more livable.
There are several things to consider when choosing your financial mate: money beliefs, values, and habits. These things determine what our financial lives are like, why we make certain decisions, and how we spend our cash.

What Are Your Money Beliefs?

What are your money beliefs? That money is sacred? That the more you have, the better off you’ll be? That someone else will always be there to help you? That there’s never enough?
If you believe that money is sacred, you won’t likely pair well with someone who believes that someone else will (and should) take care of them. They’ll look to you to do exactly that, and you’ll hold on to your quarters as tightly as you can, ripping the cloth of their universe.
When they want something, they’ll expect you to cough up the cash — and you’ll cringe at the thought of losing that dollar. Fights are natural, but resentment may eat away at you first. Sure, life is about compromise, but if your beliefs are at opposite ends of the spectrum, it’ll take forever for you to find that middle ground.
Have the conversation about money beliefs (and watch your partner’s actions) early on to avoid later beefs that can (and probably will) make life difficult.
But, it’s not all about the beliefs.

What Are Your Money Values?

Your values are what make you chase the things you want. When it comes to money, what you do matters. You can dig into your partner’s values by asking them a few questions.

Good questions to ask your partner about money values:

What’s important to you about money?
How do you spend your free time?
How do your finances express your values?
For some people, having a lot of money is very important. For others, they want just enough to pay the bills and won’t likely spend a lot of time working for more. These are polarized values. If you’re not on the same page, you’ll be swearing at your partner about why they need to work late every night, or why they don’t get up and work hard like you do.
Knowing your own opinions before confronting a potential (or current) mate can help you align your values and see where your financial future is headed together.

What Are Your Money Habits?

What money means to you, and what you spend your time chasing, are two essential indicators of how well you and your financial mate will fare — but habits are the true test for compatibility.
Picking up items as you want them, without regard to the credit balance, will drive the no-credit-card-option partner insane. Not giving up one penny to make “necessary” purchases will (of course) drive the shopaholic mad.
Pair up with someone who lives similarly to you. If you’re frugal, make your life easier by finding someone like-minded, rather than falling (and settling) for fireworks alone.
When you’re talking to potential dates/mates, look past the rose-colored beginnings and into the future. Going beyond goo-goo eyes and into frank discussions on finances will save you mountains of future heartache.
What have you found to be the biggest financial difference between you and your mate?

Originally posted in: moneyning.com

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Who are your friends and how do they affect you? The relationships you have can either enhance your life or they can drain you. There are talented people who have lots of potentials in them, but because they didn’t surround themselves with other people that will inspire them to transcend themselves, they will never realize their greatness and might end up going to their graves with all their gifts still in them.
Folks you have to be selective about the people you have around as friends, because the law of average states that the result of any given situation will be the average of all the outcomes. Famous motivational speaker and Author Jim Rohn further explain this law by saying that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.
We are greatly influenced whether we like it or not by those closest to us. They affect our ways of thinking, our self esteem, and the decisions we make in life. So who are the five people in your life that you spend the most time with – your buddies? Get serious write their names down and begin to ask these critical questions about your friends, lovers, partners; who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious and successful have they been? How enthusiastic are they? How happy are they?
Really take a look at your relationships, the people you are involved with, the people you communicate with most of the time and ask yourself, what am I becoming because of this relationship? Does it inspire me? Am I motivated? Am I encouraged and driven to develop myself? Am I seeking my own greatness? What kind of person am I becoming because of these relationships? Am I becoming more cynical and negative about life? If you want to become the person God created you to be, if you want to achieve the life of your dreams, you must stay away from toxic people because as Dr. Wayne Dyer says; “when you allow toxic people into your immediate energy field, you will find that your feelings of well-being diminish. Just as if you allow someone with a cold to sneeze in your face, you increase your chances of getting sick, you must be careful about whom you elect to associate with to avoid contaminating your life energy.”
Make the choice today about who you want to continue spending your time with. Even if no one among your present set of friends meet the standards and goals you set for yourself, let them GO! Don’t let a few folks keep you down. “Don’t become the average of some average people.” “You need to say goodbye albeit with unconditional love, to anyone who pollutes your life space with slowed down energy”.