Tag Archives: Self-esteem

Podcast Episode 18: Why Voluntarily Enslave Yourself?

Do you think someone has to approve of the things you do before you do them? Are you constantly trying to please others in your relationships, jobs, business even when you are hurting inside? Then you may be voluntarily enslaving yourself.

Too many people today are slaves to the thinking and actions of others. They strain themselves to do things simply because others do them, they let other people’s opinions define who they are and become.

If you find yourself in this situation, where you are in constant need of the validation of others, then you should immediately listen to this audio specially made for you, to break you free from the slavery you have voluntarily brought yourself into. It will inspire you to find your own voice or image in a world where people are drowning in the oceans of others opinion of them.

Feel free to share it with someone you know – you may be saving a life!

5 Reasons Why You Are Underachieving!

From boardrooms to bedrooms, from faculty halls to athletic fields, in medical schools or music schools, and in every age group and every human activity, and across every racial ethnic group you find one thing in common; people who are achieving less than they possibly could; people who abandon their dreams, and settle in mediocrity.

All over the world you find self-defeating habits and mediocre expectations and efforts towards goals. Millions of us are living below our God given potentials. You see gifted people who shine briefly, and for one reason or the other they disappear into obscurity.

Mediocrity is so common place today in our society that it has been accepted to be normal. That’s why many underachievers today don’t even realize they are one – because they look around and think “At least the other guy isn’t doing better than me.”

If you find yourself going back and forth, up and down, you know within your heart that you can do better, yet you are not doing it. I am sorry you may be an underachiever. Here are five characteristics of underachievers you may access yourself with: Continue reading 5 Reasons Why You Are Underachieving!

The Truth About You

So many times, most of us measure our successes and failures against the standards of others. We aspire, try, push to be like other people. we do everything we can to “belong”; to be “liked”; to be “accepted.”

Folks what if I told you what others think of you is irrelevant? And that what matters is what and who God has destined you to be?
The truth about you is this:

You are not “inferior.”

You are simply “You.”

You are an uncommon person

“You” as a personality are not in competition with any other personality simply because there is not another person on the face of the earth like you, or in your particular class.

You are an individual. You are unique.

You are not “like” any other person and can never become “like” any other person.

You are not “supposed” to be like any other person and no other person is “supposed” to be like you.

God did not create a standard person and in some way, label that person by saying “this is it.” He made every human being individual and unique just as He made every snowflake individual and unique.

God created short people and tall people, large people and small people, skinny people and fat people, black, yellow, red and white people. He has never indicated any preference for any one size, shape or colour.

“Abraham Lincoln once said, “God must have loved the common people for he made so many of them.” He was wrong. There is no “common man”—no standardized, common pattern. He would have been nearer the truth had he said, “God must have loved uncommon people for he made so many of them.”

Stop measuring yourself against the standards of others. You are not “them” and can never measure up. Neither can they measure up to yours—nor should they.

You Are Special

Photo Credit: fin6.com/
Photo Credit: fin6.com/

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. – psalm 139:14

This statement speaks volumes about our uniqueness, powers, abilities, talents,…and the fact that we are beautiful! Yes you marvellous. With this truth, I can’t help but wonder why so many of us don’t love ourselves. When we look at our lives all we tend to notice are the faults, what we lack, some of us in expressing our self-hatred, we abuse our bodies and minds. We fail to realise as zig Ziglar said, “It’s true if you take care of your car, it will take you places, and if you take care of your self-image, it will take you places too.”

Folks, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Inside you is the power to turn a minus into a plus. Learn to love yourself. “You will make a lousy anybody else, but you are the best “you” in existence.”
Once you accept and love yourself, it isn’t imperative that others accept you. Angelo Patri said “Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.”

Be yourself. Nobody wants a phony. Nobody wants a counterfeit note or coin..not even you!

What Fear Is Costing You

Photo credit: www.dieselsc.com
Photo credit: http://www.dieselsc.com
“Fear in all its different phases of expression such as worry, anxiety, anger, jealousy, timidity, is the greatest enemy of the human race. It has robbed man of more happiness and efficiency, has made more men cowards, more people failures or forced them into mediocrity, than anything else.”

Some of us are afraid of almost anything. We are afraid of heat; afraid of getting cold; afraid to eat what we want to eat; we are afraid of venturing into a business for fear of losing our money; afraid of public opinion – what others think. We are afraid hard times are coming soon; afraid of poverty; afraid of failure; afraid of love; afraid of heart break; afraid of marriage; afraid of being single. Our whole lives are filled with fear, fear…so much fear.

Fear depresses, suppresses, and strangles. If you allow fear into your life, “it will change a positive, creative mental attitude into a non-positive, negative one , and this is fatal to achievement.” Fear causes a lot of mess with our imagination.

Fear is of the Devil. The Bible says, God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind…to bring down all negative imaginations.

Folks, if we must achieve our goals this year, if we must live our greatest lives, then, we have to cast out fear from our lives, by building faith. Faith is the perfect antidote of fear. “While fear sees only the darkness and shadows, faith sees the silver lining, the sun behind the cloud. Fear looks down, and expects the worst, faith looks up and anticipates the best. Fear is pessimistic, faith is optimistic. Fear always predicts failure, faith predicts success.”

No matter what your needs are, believe, put them in the hands of faith. Do not ask how or why or when. Just do your best, have faith…Faith is known to be the greatest miracle worker throughout the ages.

6 Causes Of Low Self Esteem

The starting point for both success and happiness is a healthy self-image. “An individual’s self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behaviour: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change, the choice of friends, mates and careers. It’s no exaggeration to say that a strong positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.” Yet so many of us have a poor self image and low self esteem, as a result we wander through life beaten and dejected.
To achieve and live our greatest lives, we need to develop a positive self esteem, this shouldn’t be confused with a super inflated ego, of being greater than everybody around us. Below are 6 major causes of negative self esteem that we need to watch out for and get rid of in our lives:

1. Some of us have a low self esteem because our abilities, appearance and intelligence have been ridiculed or questioned many times by the people we care about; parents, teachers, friends and others in authority. In many cases, these hurts come in the form of insinuations, but they are just as real and devastating as if they were true. As a result, we see ourselves through the negative eyes of others. If your friends, family and associates find fault like there is a reward for it, you get a distorted picture of the real you.

2. The tendency to confuse failure in a project, or event, with failure in life. A child who fails a subject in school or who doesn’t make the team, makes the mistake of identifying a single failure with failure in life itself. An adult who fails an interview for a dream job, sees that as the end of his life, he begins to think he is no goo at all. This disheartenedly is often reinforced by teachers and/or parents. Once the low self esteem slide starts, the natural tendency is to feed the inferiority feeling.

3. Untrained memory; for some of us the fact that we don’t remember things or names well makes us feel inferior to others. But hear this; “a perfect memory doesn’t indicate a great mind any more than a huge dictionary, with all the words in it, represents a great piece of literature. Second, the person who can’t remember is infinitely better off than the one who can’t forget”. – Zig Ziglar “Actually, there is no such thing as a “good” memory or a “bad” memory; it is either trained or untrained”. There are lots of resources available, some of them are actually free on the internet that can help us develop and have a trained memory.

4. Unrealistic and unfair comparison of experiences; we generally make the mistake of comparing our experience with another person’s experience. We exaggerate their successful experience and downgrade our own success. Experience has nothing to do with ability. For example there are over 400 million Chinese under twenty-five who can do something you probably cannot do. They can speak Chinese. Does that mean they are smarter than you? Not at all; it means they have had a different experience. At this moment you are doing something that over three billion people cannot do. You are reading this post in English Obviously this does not mean you are smarter than three billion other people. It does mean you have had a different experience.

5. Comparing our worst features to other people’s best features; the world is filled with people who don’t find a certain part of their bodies attractive, and so it reduces their self esteem. Folks let us not see ourselves as unattractive. Inside each one of us is talents or good qualities. Comparing your worst qualities to someone else’s best quality is self defeating. Instead, let’s take our best features or talents, and use them to get what we want in life. Do not forget these words from the bible; “ I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth”.. – Psalms 139 :14 – 15

6. Unrealistic and unreachable standards of perfection that are unrealistic and unreachable; this often leads to failure. Often times when we fail due to our own overly high standards, we never forgive ourselves. We feel we must either be perfect, the best or the worst. And so since we failed, we now think and believe that we are the worst. “This affects all areas of life and is an underlying cause of job dissatisfaction, discord in the rearing of children, unhappiness in a marital relationship, etc. After all, if a person feels he is the “worst,” then surely he cannot believe he “deserves” a good job, a good mate, good children, or anything of merit or value.” – Zig Ziglar.