Does your spouse/partner have to change before you can love them completely? Personally I think not. I believe love should be unconditional, as there isn’t any flawless human out there. And to the guys who are frustrating their spouses/partners out of the relationships by demanding that they change to fit the perfect image of a lady they have in their heads, they could learn a thing or two from Bruno Mars’ song Just the way you are.
When it come to love and loving a lady, there isn’t a one rule fit everyone out there. But while there are many books and articles written over about this topic, there is still a surge in the craving to be loved. In my opinion guys, if you want to learn how to love a woman better, and if your spouse or partner isn’t willing to share with you how she wants you to treat her more lovingly, ask another lady what works.
Here are 8 ways to better love a lady shared by Mary J. Blige multiple award winning American singer, songwriter, model, record producer, and actress. and most importantly, a lady…it may solve that love puzzle of yours and bring back the love you thought you had lost in your relationship:
1. Women need more than material things: Guys this doesn’t mean, you should stop buy them, and spoiling them with the material things that you can afford. It means you shouldn’t think those things can take your place and the time you should spend with her.
2. Women need so much than what a man can say: Most of us guys are cool talkers and charmers with our words. We blow off our ladies with our words only to do the opposite of what we say. Mary J says, don’t talk about it, be about it, let your actions speak more.
3. A woman needs you to make love to her, she needs more than sex.
4. A woman likes to talk and work things out: You will be surprised how much you will accomplish by just spending time and listening to your spouse, laughing at jokes (even though they are terrible). I don’t mean being around her but being absent in your mind and eyes. Women like to talk, and love guys that listen. Continue reading 8 Things Every Woman Needs From Her Man By Mary J Blige→
During a conversation I had with a friend recently, I was asked, should it just be about women? Women be this, be that, do this or that in a relationship or marriage. What about the men don’t they have roles too? This really got me thinking, because truly as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Men too have roles to play in sustaining their relationships or marriages. We can’t just leave all the changing and doing to women alone!
Every man desires a good wife, but we forget that, as a proverb states, “Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands.” So you see, your lover, wife is as good as you make them to be. The woman is simply the reflection of her man. Ladies are always told to be subject to the man, to try and please, show love, affection, be caring, be able to take care of their homes and much more. We forget that no matter how skilful a lady is in the area of home making and “man keeping” if the man doesn’t notice, appreciate, contribute, and compliment her, her efforts will be in vain.
Several women today are in want of a man who will reciprocate their love, appreciate their good and their self-sacrifice. Many times especially here in Africa, it is the woman takes care of the home and the entire family, combining that with her businesses and careers, and making sure her keep herself in shape to please the man, and as a reward the man doesn’t even notice these efforts.
I have come to discover that sometimes, when relationships and marriages fail, it isn’t because the woman isn’t doing enough, but some men are just so difficult to please. Nothing, no amount of work or sacrifice a lady does is ever enough. They go about finding faults in all things. There are selfish husbands who go about amusing themselves with friends, without giving their women any chance. But does it ever occur to such “Egyptian taskmasters” that all work and no play is quite as bad for women as for men? Continue reading Not Just For The Woman. Men Have Roles Too→
Why do relationships and marriages fail? It amazes me how a couple that can’t take their eyes off each other, will suddenly now can’t stand each other. While there are many different reasons as to why most relationships and marriages end, here are 11 “Marriage killers” shared by D. James Dobson, Relationship expert and Author of many books including, “Love for a lifetime”:
1. Over commitment and physical exhaustion. Beware of this danger. It is especially insidious for young couples who are trying to get started in a profession or in school. Do not try to go to college, work full-time, have a baby, manage a toddler, fix up a house and start a business at the same time. It sounds ridiculous, but many young couples do just that and are surprised when their marriage falls apart. Why wouldn’t it? The only time they see each other is when they are worn out! It is especially dangerous to have the husband vastly overcommitted and the wife staying home with a preschooler. Her profound loneliness builds discontent and depression, and we all know where that leads. You must reserve time for one another if you want to keep your love alive.
2. Excessive credit and conflict over how money will be spent. We’ve said it before: Pay cash for consumable items or don’t buy. Don’t spend more for a house or car than you can afford, leaving too few resources for dating, short trips, baby sitters and so on. Allocate your funds with the wisdom of Solomon.
3. Selfishness. There are two kinds of people in the world, the givers and the takers. A marriage between two givers can be a beautiful thing. Friction is the order of the day, however, for a giver and a taker. But two takers can claw each other to pieces within a period of six weeks. In short, selfishness will devastate a marriage every time.
4. Interference from in-laws. If husbands or wives have not been full emancipated from their parents, it is best not to live near them. Autonomy is difficult for some mothers (and fathers) to grant, and close proximity is built for trouble.
5. Unrealistic expectations. Some couples come into marriage anticipating rose-covered cottages, walks down primrose lanes, and uninterrupted joy. Counsellor Jean Lush believed, and I agree, that this romantic illusion is particularly characteristic of American women who expect more from their husbands than they are capable of delivering. The consequent disappointment is an emotional trap. Bring your expectations in line with reality.
6. Space invaders. This killer will be difficult to describe or understand in such a brief context, but I’ll try. By space invaders, I am not referring to aliens from Mars. Rather, my concern is for those who violate the breathing room needed by their partners, quickly suffocating them and destroying the attraction between them. Jealousy is one way this phenomenon manifests itself. Another is low self-esteem which leads the insecure spouse to trample the territory of the other. Love must be free and it must be confident. Continue reading 11 Relationships and Marriage Killers→